My Little Orange Kitchen

Yellow Poppies

I've been loving some new color combinations lately...pinks with orange and yellows with blues. The poppies are from my garden and were the only two poppies flowering, but I broke their stems while weeding, so inside they came. The tablecloth is an Ebay find...the only thing that would make it even more perfect for my new phase would be if it happened to be trimmed with pink or orange pom-poms (pons?) or heavy fringe. I'm loving pom-poms lately too.

I want to share some shocking news with you.

Pepperidge Farm lied to us!

I know. You guys already knew this, but even being the label reader I am and ever suspicious of corporate marketing strategies, I still bought the whole Pepperidge Farm is like good old fashioned homemade song and dance for almost thirty years.

Maybe it's because of those 70's/80's  commercials...."Pep-ridge Faaaaaaaam remembuhs" or perhaps because the cakes and cookies seemed so natural looking compared to Oreos and Hydrox, I just assumed the products were all natural with the exception of a few preservatives. HMPF! I knew they were owned by a corporation, but had no idea that they put such crap in some their products!

I noticed a display in the grocery store today and picked up a frozen cake, turned it over and was floored to read that not only does it contain high fructose corn syrup and Lake number 5, but it also has three grams of trans fats per serving! It has partially hydrogenated oils! And not in such minute quantities that it gets to skirt the labeling and put 0 on the box. I was stunned.

I came home and went to the website and sent a horrified message.  They do have some natural crackers, but it's the cakes that were such a special treat when I was a kid. My mom would pick one up once in a blue moon and my brother and I loved how perfect and square they were, the icing super smooth and the best part was eating our pieces slightly frozen. Oh well. I had no business even looking at the frozen cakes anyway, but I'm glad I did (it was their key lime cake that pulled me away from frozen berries). Does anyone else remember those commercials and how they made it seem like everything was so pure and old fashioned? 

OK...Blog Anniversary Give-Away Number Three! Remember this?

Well, I've loved it long enough and now think it needs to be passed on to someone else who needs to remember to "Breathe" now and again too. You know the drill...just leave a comment by Friday. You don't need to have a blog and you can be a first-time commenter...really, it's OK. I know there are many lurkers out there!  Don't be shy! Comment early and often (agaahaha). 

You can comment on any of the Giveaway posts by Friday 11:59 pm central...I'll do drawings for everything on Saturday. 

Now for more good news! My Etsy shop is being featured on Rachael's Miles Away in France blog on Tuesday!!!!! Please go check it out. I love it when sellers and bloggers help other sellers and bloggers! Thanks so much Rachael. She makes such nice things herself...this little lady came all the way from France to amuse Mark by doing yoga on our DVDS.  Oh, and Rachael's daughter happens to be named  Laura...what's not to love?  :)

I love her dress and it reminds me of the kind my mom made for me when I was a girl. 

   

Pretty In Pink

Just a few pictures of what's happening around the condo...I can't bear to kill the dandelions, though our board sprayed  pesticides without notice (again)...I hope the dandelions have mutated and that they spread all over...I can't believe they spray when we have so many dogs here!!

Thank goodness my organic nasturtiums  (for salads when when they flower) were not outside when they did it. The seedlings are doing well and I just put them in pots outside, so they missed the toxin bath.

 

Make Love Not War

It should be easy enough with Blog Anniversary Give-Away item number two! It's a Sex Bomb by Lush and as it fizzes away in your tub it'll leave you soft, scented and feeling very secure!  Because, after all...the  wars we wage with ourselves over body image must end too.  Did you know many women won't take baths and prefer to shower because they are uncomfortable looking at themselves naked and reclining in the tub?

When I had my shop, I wrote an article about this for our newsletter and many women approached me  later and told me it made them sad, because as much as they told themselves it was about not having the time or privacy, in truth, it was because they didn't feel comfortable in their own skin...even alone.

Another reason many women don't take baths is because they don't feel their tubs are "spa-like".  We don't need deep antique tubs or whirlpools to have a nice relaxing bath. My tub us tiny, stained, the caulk is yellowed  and the wallpaper is peeling...it's not at all spa-like in a 197O's era bathroom, but I get in, ignore it all and just soak. 

Another tip...avoid the temptation to have a long hot bath...warm is best. Hot water dries out your skin and is the reason people get out of the tub and barely have energy to dry off, plus it makes you perspire and unless you are detoxing you don't want to get out of the tub dehydrated. The ideal bath temperature is 97-100 degrees. If you slowly lower yourself in or if you notice that a layer of skin floats off of your calves when you first step in...it's too hot!!  Though, maybe I'll do another post on hydrotherapy where you alternate between hot and cold water.   

OK...so just leave a comment on any of the giveaway posts (or all of them) by 5/23 and you could win!

                                           Thanks for being such loyal readers!

P.S. I'm pretty impressed with myself...I think the bath bomb picture came out clear for once!      

Green Satire

I think is this is hilarious, but also pretty sad and unfortunately it sums up how people (myself included), think "green", but continue to shop as if they don't. It's such a tough call sometimes.  I'll admit that when it comes to buying pre-packaged organic foods, I sometimes do "feel good" because it's organic and forget about the plastic tubs the sour cream comes in.  Yet, I do believe that making these discoveries about myself little by little will help me prioritize and determine what my ultimate choices are...but, in the meantime, I'm just trying to pay attention.

More later folks!            

East Or Bust

The truth about my side of the family is we never do things the normal way and this goes back to my great-great grandmother traveling East by covered wagon.  She left her husband, packed up the kids and made her way to New York to start a new life...which makes me laugh because it sounds very typical of the women in my family. Not the leaving husbands part, just going in opposite directions.

Though, last week, Mark and I did make it West. This was our second trip to Arizona and we stayed with Mark's aunt and uncle.  The first visit was stressful for my in-laws because they were prepared to  run interference between Mark's Uncle Gary and me because Gary has a bit of a thing for collecting machine guns and strong views on immigration which they worried would offend me terribly. 

The funny part is that Gary and I got along very well...we were careful and respected one another enough to not become adamant about expressing our beliefs and we actually found common ground. Gary is a hardcore animal person and he and Connie basically run an operation rescue on their land. Fifteen cats, three dogs, a rabbit and three horses. Gary is the one people call when someone has abandoned yet another litter of kittens.  I respect Gary a great deal. In fact, the first trip was such a success that Mark and I chose to visit his aunt and uncle on our own for this visit.

Of course the animals were everywhere.  I wish my pictures had turned out...here is Ollie, whose pen I helped clean (except for the afternoon I fell asleep and missed my start-time!).

Here he is with his mask on  backwards...to me he looked so cute!  Ah, the indignity.

   

And even though I am not a small dog person, these little guys were endearing (sort of...the bigger one didn't like us! Connie said she was happy to see us go!):

They have a lovely house and Mark and I had a lot of privacy on our end of place...but, my favorite spot is this...it's the doors off of one end of their bedroom...I love the bouganvillas and how they almost match the stained glass roses on the mini bell tower.

Connie will kill me for posting this photo...but as she was trimming the umbrella with tiny colored lights, I couldn't help but think that I wish my 39 year old legs looked as good as her 61 year old legs! I guess sixty really is the new forty!

We ate out most of the time we were there and the hands down favorite was Joe's BBQ in Gilbert. I'm not even a BBQ nut like Mark is, but my brisket and hot links did the job!  Joe's is only ten years old, but has a great reputation and is being featured on Guy Fieri's Food Network show on May 19th.

I was enchanted by all of the flowers and flowering shrubs we saw along the highways and roads, but Connie's flower pots were gorgeous...so many cheerful yellows....

This blew me away. I had no idea that in certain places people irrigate residential land...We had to get home one day so that Gary could flood his property and horse pasture...

The water flows in from Colorado and costs $18.00 per hour of "floodtime"....they drink well-water because the water that flows to Arizona is basically coming in by way of open ditch and people worry that so much of it evaporates that it leaves some concentrated "bad things" behind. Yet, many people do drink it.

I have to report that the most idiotic thing overheard on the trip was when Mark was wandering through a Ralph Lauren Polo store and saw a girl showing her boyfriend some shirts he might like and the guy, demonstrating how much of an idiot snob he is, noticed the sale price, scoffed and said, "I don't ever buy Polo on sale."  Mark had to laugh out loud.

All and all it was a great trip and we so appreciate Connie and Gary opening up their home to us...Plus, I came home with a new HOT PINK camping knife courtesy of Gary, which I guess is the benefit of having an Uncle in-law who is prepared for any emergency you could present...No hot dog stick will be safe from me n' my blade! Notice the vintage book endpapers it's resting on...they''ll be a business card holder soon. 

OK....AS PROMISED.  This is just Day One of the giveaways that will begin today and end next Friday.  The rules?  Just leave a comment and you'll have a chance at winning the item I offer up!  Enter again and again!! Ha! How's that for blatant comment wrangling! I have no shame! But, you guys are such  loyal readers! Plus, I like giving things away!

Item One:

The eight ounce jar of Andrew  Weil's Organic Manuka Honey pictured above. It's infused with extracts of astragalus root, schisandra berry, elderberry and amia fruit.  Two to three teaspoons a day is said to help your immune system, plus it's sweet and so good.  Origins has ticked me off for using excess shipping packaging, but because Andrew Weil is donates all of his after tax profits to an organization that supports Integrative Medicine, well, I made an exception. Plus, Origins has taken some good steps and was named one of the top 30 "greenest" companies by the United States Environmental Protection Agency’s Green Power Partnership.   And they are working on getting  the parabens out of their products completely.  And all of their packaging is at least 50 percent post-consumer recycled.

Stay tuned for more One Year Anniversary Hi-jinx!  And some bath and body give-aways courtesy of my trip to Lush.

                                          

If You Only Buy One Book This Year

We're back and we had a great time on our whirlwind trip to Arizona (Sorry Michele M., but it was too whirlwind to plan even a lunch!). I have pictures to edit and then I'll do an Arizona post, but for today, the news is about Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver.

When I read one of Barbara's earlier books, The Poisonwood Bible, I was in a state of deep depression for at least a week. Not because it was a sad book, but because it was such a complex and well written story with character development surpassing anything I'd ever read before. I felt like throwing in the towel on my own writing aspirations.

It seemed that nothing I'd ever write could be so compelling and I knew I wouldn't have the patience to do the kind of research necessary to write a novel with the parallels between history and story the way she did.  It made for some blue days over here folks! I eventually rose up from the pits of despair and settled into happily (and without envy)...admiring her writing.

When I saw she'd written a non-fiction book about her family's experience eating only locally grown foods for a year (and now a lifetime), I was interested, and used the vacation as an excuse to take a break from BBB 2008. 

It was worth my weakness. 

This book is a must for anyone intrigued with the concept of eating local or with the Slow Food movement in general.

I must confess that I only recently learned what the Slow Food movement actually is.

Because it started in Italy and has been embraced by Europeans, I assumed it literally meant eating your food more slowly, savoring every bite and spending more time relaxing over long slow meals (the way they tend to in Europe anyway)! AGHAHAAHAHA!  I was wrong (mostly) and you can laugh, but I know I can't be the only one! 

The Slow Food movement has certain objectives (here are a few):

• Forming and sustaining seed banks to preserve heirloom varieties in cooperation with local food    systems
• Developing an "ark of taste" for each eco-region, where local culinary traditions and foods are celebrated
• Preserving and promoting local and traditional food products, along with their lore and preparation
• Educating citizens about the drawbacks of commercial agribusiness and factory farms
• Educating citizens about the risks of mono-culture and reliance on too few genomes or varieties
• Developing various political programs to preserve family farms
• Lobbying against government funding of genetic engineering
• Lobbying against the use of pesticides
• Encouraging ethical buying in  local marketplaces

Basically ... Slow Food is not fast food by any stretch.

Barbara, her husband and their two daughters left Arizona and moved to rural Southwest Virginia to live full-time on the farm they usually just spent summer vacations at. They decided to only eat locally grown food (including their own) and the book is about how they handled the difficulties of finding and existing only on local fare. They made very few exceptions, but each family member got to pick a "must have" item that could come from somewhere else and unfortunately they couldn't get their wheat for bread baking locally, but they did a great job with everything else (including meat). They made their own cheese and the easy recipe is included...Michelle over at Vanilla Icing....I can so see you doing this!  Mary Ellen...you'd love the canning and harvest descriptions.

I was totally enchanted by the family. Oldest daughter Camille gives us short essays with recipes throughout the book and youngest daughter Lily blew me away with her chicken raising entrepreneurial spirit. No news for any moms out there, but Lily's own family ranked low on the priority customer list!

The Slow Food movement gets a hard knock now and again from people who claim that eating organic and locally grown foods is elitist and not financially feasible for the average family.  Barbara totally debunks this and shows that even in a big city the cost can be less, but the planning is obviously more complex than heading over to Burger King when you're tired on a Friday night after work. 

Not everyone (my condo-living self included) can go as far as this family did, but the book inspired me to make some hard and fast decisions.  Really. If I want strawberries in the middle of winter in Wisconsin, then I'd better stock up and freeze them when I see them at Farmer's Market this year (Hey, it should be easy since I'll be selling wallets at the Wednesday night market anyway!).  I can do this. I can make a small difference by growing a few things, buying from local growers and by making some of foods I'd incorrectly assumed would be too "involved" like mozzarella cheese. 

Barbara is as thorough with her non-fiction as she is with her fiction.  In addition to humor, recipes, great family exchanges (Lily dramatically realizing that she has to sell an awful lot of her eggs to get a horse), fun information about plants and canning you'll find some hefty statistical information and lots about the history of family farming. 

Let me emphasize the fact that this book is not preachy at all...not one iota....but, it does make you think. When one of eighteen year-old Camille's girlfriends visits and asks for bananas, it's gently explained that the resources used to get to them to Virginia make them an environmentally costly purchase. Good news...she was totally cool with the fresh blackberries they had on hand.

The book is about Barbara's family's total conversion, but it isn't about converting anyone who doesn't want to or who can't go 100%.  It shows you how exciting small steps can be.

For example, I went to the grocery store here (Copps East) and asked the produce manager to point me in the direction of all produce that's locally grown. 

Guess what?

Potatoes. 

That's all.

In a huge grocery store during asparagus, rhubarb and green onion season. 

I decided that from this point forward I'm going to ask every time and when the check-out person half heartedly asks me if I found everything I needed...I'm going to say, "Actually, I didn't. I was looking for locally grown produce and you don't have any." 

I know how this makes me sound, but so what? Normally, I usually just say yes...and not because I did find what I needed, but because it's a habit and answered in the same half paying attention attitude as it's usually asked.  Maybe I'm not ready to give up bananas or mandarin oranges just yet...but, step by step...we shall see!

WHEW! So...in a nutshell....I like this book. :)

In other news:

• Red Belt: A good movie with a few holes, but I love David Mamet.
• The Breadsmith has begun selling fresh baked gluten-free bread on the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month. If you have them in your state...check to see if they are offering gluten-free too.
  
• My newest set of hearing aids are being "worked on" and I hope to have them next week.  Say hello to my little friends (mine are black to blend in with my dark brown hair).

• I'm horrified that I thought my one year-blog anniversary was at the end of the month...but was last week!!!!!!!  Give-aways and events coming soon!!!          

Arizona Post Preview:

Slow Food Info:

http://www.slowfood.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_Food

      

She's In A Book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Third postdated post!

Everyone knows I love Bethany over at Bitter Betty. Her posts are always informative and I envy her confidence when she uses herself to model the gorgeous clothing she makes from vintage patterns. She really knows how to strike a pose!

I firmly believe we all have our own unique gifts to offer and our own unique styles, but sometimes, when you struggle as I do with trying to  understand who you are and what your style is, it helps to have a role model or someone you hope to emulate the essence of. 

Bethany probably has no need to be anyone's "Essence Idol", but she's mine. I hope to become more comfortable posting pictures of myself in some of the awesome vintage clothing I own as the year progresses. If you ever see a picture of me on this blog wearing my baby blue Jackie O. coat....you know I've crossed a personal barrier. However, if you ever see a picture of me on this blog wearing my 1920's almost nothing vintage flapper lingerie...well, you have permission to express moral outrage!    

When I saw that one of Bethany's creations (modeled by someone else) had made its way into this book, I was thrilled for her!

Congratulations Bethany!

P.S.  Ambika is another "Essence ldol" when it comes to modeling her own creations.   

Paper Preview

Second Postdated Post!

As you know, I like making wallets out of any paper I can get my hands on. This includes  recycled and vintage papers as well as handmade and contemporary gift wrap.  Here's a preview of the paperie that arrived this week and what I'll be busy folding and creasing next week! I'm thrilled!

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder?

Please confirm it's so! This has been the longest period of "unplanned absence" since I began almost a year ago. Almost five days!!!!  I'll make it up to you with my HUGE end of May one year blogging anniversary extravaganza! Just wait!

I'll be gone for even a few more days because we're headed out of town until Monday, but I plan to test Typepad's "pre-scheduled post" option and see if some posts will automatically be published while I'm gone.

OK...how do I even begin to catch up and where do I begin?

I guess I'll start with the wheatgrass essence shots. I was over at the Urban Frog's indoor Farmer's Market after camping and finally had to try another great product from local farmers Kevin and Becky at Grow Greens. 

Wheatgrass essence is similar in nature to my favorite Bach Flower Essences in that it's a vibrational healing tool, but unlike Bach, it contains no alcohol and at $12.00 for a sixteen ounce bottle, it's much less expensive.  The essence is also a great option for those of you who can't handle the green taste of fresh wheatgrass juice.

The effects of vibrational and energetic elixirs are more subtle in some cases, but believe me, they work. If you are in need of a boost, this is the essence for you. You can read more about it here. 

Then, after Karen gave me a sample of these Golden Berries...I was in!!!!!!

You remember my Goji Berry post right? Well, Organic Goldenberries (Cape Gooseberries) are from Columbia and are my new new new favorite! Other than the fact that they boast super high levels of bioflavonoids there isn't a lot of nutritional information available, so I'll focus on the flavor.

These little dried fruits put the sweet/tart combo of dried cranberries to shame! The first bite is sour (a great natural option for you lemon-head lovers out there) and then it unfolds into chewy sweetness. These would be perfect in cookies, salads or even chopped and added to warm spring rice dishes.

The Urban Frog is planning to experiment combining them with dark chocolate! They're sold by Kevin and Becky tool, but I didn't see a listing on the website, so you may have to email to request an order. The one pound bag is $16.00.  So worth it! A little will go a long way since they pack such a powerful punch!  Really...tired of giving your little ones Sour Patch Kids?  These are a better option.   

I have more good news!  I'm a new contributer over at the Collective Creatives blog and my first post should be up later today. It's a blog created by fourteen female artists contributers and focuses on thirteen topics concerning the life/lives of working artists. The post categories are the journey, studio, inspiration, motivation, shows, balancing career with life, style, texture, recharging, fame fortune and reality, fashion and trends and the creative process.  I chose The Journey for my first post...we'll see how I do. I hope you go over and visit!

In other news:

Iron Man...FANTASTIC!

These plates would have been horrifying to me a year ago, but now I'm in deep love.

More tomorrow before I leave!

Jeez, just how many exclamation points can one post have?

!!!!!                      

Amy Popp Designs

Isn't this gorgeous?  Just gorgeous! It's handmade (and colored/dyed?) by Amy of Amy Popp Designs. I wish I had a link for her, but I don't. She's a Wisconsin based textile artist and her work is at One By One.  I just had to share!

I'm preparing for....yep...you guessed it! Another camping trip! This time I'm bringing extra blankets!

I've got a million things to do this evening, but I'm looking forward to a cup of tea with apples later and some serious blog reading and commenting! I hope you bloggers have some new posts up!

I just added a few more wallets to the shop and for you locals, I'll be taking some into the Urban Frog tomorrow morning. 

Have a nice night Kitchenettes!    

Shakespeare, Laura Ingalls Wilder & Fairies

I just listed Ophelia in the shop...I'm enjoying making some of the extra large sizes, but I still have to say...the card holder size has become my favorite. 

I've always loved the name Ophelia...and of course my favorite line about her (not from her) is "sweets to the sweet"... spoken by Queen Gertrude.  Coincidentally,  it originally became a favorite because in one of the Little House books, Laura had hurt feelings when a shopkeeper gave the prettier Mary (in Laura's eyes) a candy heart with a lovely poem written upon it and then gave Laura one that just said "a sweet for the sweet" which, to the sensitive brunette Laura, seemed so plain compared to the one flaxen haired Mary got. My heart ached for Laura...maybe because I related to her so much anyway...and I'm a brunette too. 

I know much has been said about my favorite Little House series and of how politically incorrect the books are now.  It's true...they are. The late Michael Dorris wrote a great piece about how when he (as a single man) adopted an older Native American boy in the 70's, he looked forward to reading the series to his son because he'd loved it so much himself.  However, as "Ma" began referring to the Indians as "wild savages" and said nothing lived in the woods of Wisconsin but "wild animals" (and of course, we know Native Americans lived in the woods as well)...he knew he couldn't keep reading and felt saddened by this loss.  Not to mention my own disappointment years later when I realized the "act" Pa had gotten "made-up" for was actually a minstrel show. Sigh.

However, I can put these things in their proper context and still enjoy the stories for what they were and Laura at least, was always fair. Being fair was and still is very important to me.   They came out  of a different time and while I wouldn't read them to my kids (if I had them) without some explanation of how good it is that some things have changed, I'd also start discussion on how some things changed for the better and how some things changed for the worst (lack of family time, disconnection from growing our own food etc)...The stories are still heartwarming to me and of course...my mother named me after Laura, so there is a certain amount of identification I suppose.         

Did any of you know that Laura Ingalls Wilder believed in fairies? Yes, she did! Here is her book of fairy poems!!!!!

I'm secretly hoping some of you were not aware and are jumping up and down with excitement that this book exists! Remember, as Laura Ingalls Wilder writes,"'Fairies still appear to those with seeing eyes." 

Happy looking!    

One By One...

'Word of mouth" is the most profitable advertising for any business owner (in spite of what we might spend on other methods of promotion).  When I owned Mico Femina, hearing a new customer say she had to come in because a friend raved on and on about the shop warmed me up much more than the response to my more media focused methods of advertising. 

So, knowing this, you can imagine that I'm over the moon thrilled because a woman who purchased one of my wallets at an art show took it into One By One in Kaukauna to show Lynn (the owner) and the rest is history... Little Orange Kitchen wallets have officially landed on the shelves of One by One!

I visited the shop last week and ran around like a crazy person taking pictures so I could show all of you how beautiful it is.  Sadly, some of my pictures didn't turn out so hot, so I padded this post with a few from Lynn's website.

Lynn is an artist who makes jewelry and who transforms vintage windows (and other things) into hand painted works of art.

I love her windows...

She had an at-home studio, but a couple of years ago when she decided to move the studio out of the house and onto the streets of Kaukauna, we got lucky because she also opened a store!

The special thing that makes Lynn's store so unique is that everything in the shop is handmade and all of the items (with the exception of only two) are locally handmade!

Her shop is a gallery of unbelievable variety and beauty and reflects the talents of women...most of whom are less than 30 miles away.  Plus, it has to be pointed out that she does all of her artists a great service with her knack for display.

The store is completely filled with beautiful handmade items. It's like roaming the the halls of Etsy (if Etsy happened to be a tiny one room brick and mortar shop stocked from floor to ceiling with things that call out your name)!  She carries everything from soaps, candles, cards and....   

these purses...

as well as Meta Bags...

handmade scarves...

more soaps...

Her own gorgeous jewelry...

And her hand painted glassware...the plates are so cheerful!

And last, but not least....she has an enormous candy jar (the key to any business's success) which was the inspiration for her mosaic checkout counter. I wish I could have taken a better picture...she made it and instead of grout, she filled it in with resin...it was fun to look at all the patterns of the plate shards and how she arranged them. Because of the resin, it's totally smooth and you can run your hands over it.

My favorite part of the visit with Lynn was when she mentioned the part about the candy jar. She said, '"I knew I wanted one..." I knew exactly when she knew she wanted one...during the planning phase...the place where all of us have been at one time or another. 

It's when we have an idea or goal and we may not know everything we want to do with it, but we know one thing...and that's all it takes. 

For for one of my friends, it's the good music and great coffee she envisions serving while she makes plans for her Italian Bakery and Cafe that's the constant.  It makes it real while she decides what desserts are essential and where should she look for a storefront.  For another friend, it's the cards she wanted to send to the owners of the pets who visit her animal healing center.

For me, it was the healing and prosperity symbols I knew I wanted in the lining of each and every wallet I made...even before I began making them.

None of these things are big or essential, but they're the little touches that make our businesses our own. The things that keep us rooted in the idea until we decide to take it to completion (or maybe not, which is OK).  For some of us (as Ekhart Tolle) says, planning may be all we can do...and as long as we keep our plans rooted in something real and not create a movie of what we think will happen...this is a good thing.

Maybe there are some of you out there right now who have an idea, but haven't let yourself explore it...well, now might be the time to put a pen to the paper and just write a single line:

"Someday I'd like to ...?....".   

On another day, you can add another note and the next thing you know...maybe you'll be inspired to take a step towards your goal.   

Lynn is an inspiration to me because she's taken her steps toward growing her business slowly...one by one.  She didn't rush and get it all out there in a day. She's allowed her business to develop at its own pace with her guidelines. The shop has limited hours...this is what she needed to do to accommodate the needs of her family and she's made it work. Her customers make it work too. Bravo to her for setting up her own terms! It takes courage to open up and ease in rather than dive in headfirst.

To be honest, while sometimes my old habits of diving in headfirst worked well for me, I much appreciate how I'm finally learning to ease into things a bit more too.  I have a friend who always reminds me to be gentle with myself...and this is hard for me, but I'm working on it.      

Lynn's hours are posted on her website, but she always suggests calling first if you're coming from far away...just in case she's had to run out...but, the majority of the time you'll find her there beading away or if it's in the next week or two...listing more of her jewelry in her new venture...an Etsy shop!   

Thanks Lynn...I know the wallets are in yet another wonderful place!   

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

Just a little preview of my shop update..scheduled for late tomorrow...all from a single issue of French Vogue...

The Baccarat ad really sent me over the edge...it's a bit racy, but I love it...We should all look so good as we swing from the crystal chandelier wearing nothing but BDSM heels. Maybe I'll bring some on the next camping trip! I couldn't resist slipping my vintage button in there...it's a match.   

Inside:

And the Dylan card holder...what can I say? I love him and the panel is from a collage of his album covers with an article about him (In French of course) on the interior and back.

 

Stay tuned...I've just received some blogging awards! 

The Big Chill

I'm sad to report that my first solo camping trip of the season was not a huge success.  Note to self: Wait at least a few weeks after the Spring thaw before sleeping on wet ground. 

I should have known when I called the ranger to ask if it was really necessary to make a reservation and he laughed and said,"Uh, no?" that perhaps there could be a reason camping in mid-April isn't exactly a Wisconsin tradition.  Then he asked if I had a heater in my camper. Camper? Heater?  Heater shmeater...I'm going to be in a tent!

He had no response.

I asked him to to tell me what site would be the best since I'd be checking in after the rangers were gone for the day and wasn't familiar with park.  He said "Well, that depends where you guys want to be.  Do you want to be close to the water?" 

I figured now was as good a time as any to inform him that actually, there was no "you guys", I'd be camping alone.

"Oh, well then in that case you'll want to be near people so..."  he began. I interrupted..."Well, you might think that and I'm sure most women would want to, but actually I want to be as far away from people as possible."

Silence on the other end.

Finally, he said, "Well, I just assumed that you'd feel more comfortable with people around..." I said, "HA! You'd think so, but nope, I'm the type that goes all the way and thinks since I'm alone, get me as far away from potential help as possible! Agahaahahaahaahahaaha!"... I was laughing at myself, and of how ridiculous this sounds, and he began to laugh too, but I got the feeling he didn't know why it was so funny. 

Frankly, Mark doesn't think it's at all funny.

Then the ranger suggested the completely deserted Southern end, but said the park had 123 sites and only 5 people were there (in heated RVs), so no matter where I chose, I'd be alone "if that's what you really want."

COOL!

I loaded my car and headed up to Door County's Potawatomie State Park.

I knew this trip wouldn't be as primitive as my last one because I could basically drive to my site and set-up, but when I entered the park, I was horrified.

Yes, the sites were nice and wooded (the park is gorgeous), but they are very close to one another. I mean only 50 feet apart max!!!  I made a note never to camp there during the busy season because privacy would be impossible.  You'd definitely have to change clothes in your tent and I'm sure I'd hear everyone's campfire conversations. 

I kept yelling as I drove by the "community" of campsites looking for the most secluded one, "NO, WAY!!! ARE THEY FOR REAL!!! OH, MY GOD! WTF!!!!!!"    

But, I calmed down and reminded myself there were no other campers AT ALL in the southern section and I was free to pick any site I wanted without worry of "neighbors" and to just relax and stop acting as if I'd shown up to a jam packed campground full of belligerent drunk hunters and screaming kids (not that kids are as bad as belligerent drunk hunters...I like kids really...and hey, I've even been a belligerent drunk in my time, but I needed to be alone).   

I set up my tent here...unaware that I was looking at ground that had a  slight touch of the permafrost. :)

Here's the set-up and can you see another site's fire ring in the distance? That's how unbearably close the sites are!  My friends assure me this is actually a nice distance compared to other campgrounds, but I like more primitive backwoods no one can see or hear you camping.  Notice the solar light I snagged from our front walk...I congratulated myself on my brilliance for realizing it would make a pretty little welcome light coming back from peeing in the dark.  I staked the fly pretty far out because it was misting rain and I wanted to be sure I didn't have to adjust in the middle of the night.

In the above picture you can see my tent guardians...I left my mini pink flamingos at home in favor of the more fierce (and auspicious) foo-dogs.

Of course I feng-shuied my tent...Here is the helpful people section:

My toiletries:

The latest in Campground Couture:

Every girl's bedside in the wild essentials...I use that knife to sharpen sticks and I must admit I feel like a total bad ass!!!! It's over sixty years old and was a gift from my father in-law.

A room with a view:

My jewelry looked so pretty on the moss covered picnic table ( I made the earrings a few years ago):

If a pretty umbrella and gorgeous vintage towel hang in the woods and no one can see them...well, they're still pretty:

Moss on the rocks...the colors in real life were stunningly beautiful:

The misty rain let up completely and I was able to make a great dinner...It was about 7:30 and still light  so it was easy to get everything going...I brought in two ricks of wood, but also used my back packing camp stove.

Prepped peppers and asparagus:

Peppers and onions:

Trader Joe's Chicken Italian Sausage and asparagus in the pot...notice, the fire was a little too new to start cooking on...it took another 20 minutes to generate heat as opposed to just flames:

The best campfire salt...chardonnay smoked sea salt:

Slightly overdone asparagus with warm balsamic vinegar and parmigiano-reggiano cheese. Overdoing it worked in this case, because the soft asparagus seemed to soak up the vinegar more than when I just steam it for a few minutes. It was very flavorful.   

       

The feast meal with a coal-roasted ear of corn and baby potatoes...heavy on the carbs, but I had planned to hike the nine mile trail loop first thing in the morning:

So, you might be asking yourself why this trip wasn't a success? I mean, so far, it looks pretty good right?

Well, after a few hours of fire-gazing and relaxing, I decided to call it a night and prepared to hit the tent with my lantern and a book (a very good book). I figured I'd do a little reading and then some meditative clearing of my mind...The whole trip was planned to help me let go of some of the residual stress from jury duty and my super compassionate outlook on the accused. It left me emotionally distraught and I figured a few nights alone in the woods would help me put things in perspective. 

I snuggled into my sleeping bag (on top of a sleeping pad and a quilt) and began to read...I noticed it was a little cold (it looked like I was sending out smoke signals as I breathed), but I figured it would be no time at all before my body heat filled the tent and I'd be toasty. Nope.

An hour or two later, I realized that it was going to be a long cold night...and that 40 degrees sounded warm, unless you were sleeping on still frozen ground. I went to my car and got three of the scarves I usually have draped over the passenger seat neck rest (long story--for another post). 

I put on my coat, three shirts, pants, two pairs of socks and tied a scarf over my head like a hat.  I was pretty bulked up at this point and could barely squeeze into my sleeping bag. I managed to make it work and reached over to turn out my lantern. It was dark and cold and you also have to remember I was a little overstuffed from my asparagus, Italian sausage, peppers, corn, potatoes and pickles.  To say I was uncomfortable was an understatement. After five minutes of waiting to either feel warm or fall asleep and be put out of my misery, I had to pee.  Good lord.

I slowly rolled out of my bag and to the entrance of the tent. And then, because I looked like this:

I fell over and out of the tent.

When I got up, I was muddy, but not too discouraged and began to take off clothes so I could go and pee by a tree. Yes, you read correctly...there was no way I was going to waddle in the dark to the pit toilet in the freezing cold.

I did what I set out to do and then fell again!!!!  I twisted my ankle and limped back to the tent (very glad that I did not have an audience). I managed to get myself back into the sleeping bag and shivered for at least an hour until I finally drifted off...I woke up to the sound of tapping on my tent. I immediately reached for my flashlight. "Hello?????"....no answer.  I used my advanced survival in the wilderness skills to determine it was just a branch and after a few minutes of freezing, I drifted off again...only to be startled awake by the same tapping...

I was hazy, sleepy and cold...I wasn't thinking clearly and decided the tapping must be rain. As I drifted off again...the tapping got really loud and I finally got scared...someone was close...very close and toying with me...just like in a horror movie.  Oh God, where's a belligerent drunk or screaming kid when you need one! As I was preparing myself for my impending death or some kind of scene out of Deliverance, I actually drifted off to sleep again...(it's a survival technique not often talked about). 

I awoke again and this time the tapping was so close and loud it almost sounded like it was in THE TENT!!!!   

I finally realized it was. It was both in my tent and in my head...

I was so cold that my teeth were chattering as I slept. 

I felt like an idiot, but still managed to laugh as I wondered if I'd share the news with you Kitchenettes. 

Then, I realized that my whole body was rigid and tense from the cold...I debated leaving the tent and sleeping in my car, but that meant I'd have to leave the sleeping bag...I wasn't thinking clearly (did I mention this?) and decided to stay in the tent and stick it out until morning...I drifted in and out of sleep until about five when the birds (or cold) woke me up...I called Mark and later my mom and said that I had the worst night ever. 

I got up and made my breakfast:

Then, I considered my options:

1. Stay another night and freeze.
2. Leave the campground and drive to a store to get some more blankets or a tent heater and try another night.
3. Go home and wait a few more weeks before trying it again...having learned that 70 degree days don't mean warm nights in WI.

I went with option 3. In retrospect, I realize that 40 degrees isn't super cold, but it was cold and damp and while my skin loves cold and damp (really, it always looks good because of the moisture in the air) it is the type of weather that I tend to do the worst in. I've always hated that feeling of cold and damp linens or even the scent of cabins that are cold and damp. I has somehow gotten chilled to the bone and there was no way I was going to warm up. Oh well.

I'll have more successful trips later and my planned second dinner of wild mushroom cous-cous will taste just as good in May. I also learned that when something is troubling me, I can't expect to escape it by seeking out a change in the scenery...wherever you go, there you are.  I have to let the trial go without the help of the woods.    

In other news...I made this wallet and it sold within an hour of listing it in the shop...It's a new favorite.

And thanks to Ruby Crowned Kinglet, I'm a new fan of Liberty Fabrics.   

So, how was your weekend? 

On The Bright Side...

I promised a more upbeat post today and I'm delivering! Well, actually the postman delivered this one. My Mother Goose swap box from Kate! Yay!

It was overflowing with beautiful things and I have to say the care and time Kate put into the box is amazing. She wrapped everything in gorgeous orange paper...mostly handmade and even included a few little orange "extras" like the baby clothespins and orange rubber bands...plus, look at the magnet!

And then look at all this gorgeous paper!!!

The rhyme she chose was "The Balloon"

"What is the news of the day,
Good neighbor, I pray?"

"They say the balloon
has gone to the moon!"

I love it and she used the rhyme to inspire this beeswax collage (one of her specialties as an artist is making beeswax collages)...

Everyone knows I love planets and stars!!

Plus, Godiva Milk Chocolate Pearls that I couldn't get a decent picture of because my camera kept reflecting on the tin.

A pretty little journal:

And interestingly enough, this was my favorite!

I love the front of the card, but it is the back that made me burst open today...I felt so understood by this quote:

Thank you Kate....you went above and beyond and every gift is appreciated.

         

Thanks to Karen over here for hosting such a fun swap!

Vintage Buttons

I stopped at the bead store yesterday and was shocked to learn that Tara had been holding out on me! Yep, it seems that for a couple of years (in plain view) she's had drawers filled with vintage buttons for sale! How could I have missed this?

I'm in love with vintage buttons and was happy to add to my collection...I see a ring class in my near future.

Here are some favorites... Can you see these as rings?

In other news, Ambika (unknowingly) has done it again. In her book Shelter for the Spirit, Victoria Moran writes of how sometimes we need to make little life upgrades.  She explains how simplest of things in our lives can be "upgraded" and can be viewed as good self-care. These things do not have to be expensive and can be free. For her, it was receiving a gift bag lined with brown tissue paper. 

My mother and I talked about that chapter and we both agreed there really is something luxurious about chocolate colored tissue.  Well, this came from Ambika...

and it happened to be wrapped in brown tissue paper...it reminded me of these little luxuries people often take for granted (me included).   

Speaking of little luxuries...it warmed my heart to package these last night...

I sent a batch of tiny consolation prizes out this morning to those of you who commented on the 200th and Modigliani posts...Note: If you did comment, but haven't sent me your address, please do!

Have a sweet weekend and thanks for all the comment love lately! 

Modigliani And The Daffodils

We don't get much natural light in our living room, so though I wasn't overly hopeful when I took this picture, I think it came out fine. It was such dreary gray morning and I realized that from the right angle, the inner bloom of the daffodils matches the hair of the woman in my Modigliani print.

My father was a big Modigliani fan and once when I visited him, I saw this print and raved. The following Christmas it was in a box under the tree. This was a huge shock because in all honesty, as generous as my father probably wanted to be, he had a lot of insecurities that prevented him from giving freely. He had about as bad a childhood as one could possibly imagine and this left him very protective of himself. I could see that with any gift he chose, he had to detach from it...completely. He distanced himself emotionally from any reaction, because if he allowed himself to become invested in a gift, it was almost as if the potential for disappointment if the recipient didn't like it would be too much for him to handle.

As kids, my brother and I thought my dad was really cold about stuff like this and we felt he didn't get much joy in giving and that maybe it was because of the bad childhood we heard about once in awhile. As adults we began to understand he was afraid to be generous, to put much thought into a present, because it left him unprotected and in a position to be hopeful that he had pleased, which, frankly was too much for him.

On my very first birthday he saw a giant bright red stuffed animal rat with a long white yarn tail at the department store, got a big kick out it and bought it for me.  However, I was one and when I saw it (according to family legend) I was very afraid of it and it was not well-received.  The story of my fear of the rat was relayed to me when I was about eleven and it included my father's genuine bewilderment over why I didn't love it and of how even though he brushed it off and joked about it, how he felt bad that his gift scared me.

My father and I were at war with one another at the time I learned of this story. He didn't understand puberty and the emergence of my smart mouth and this, coupled with his alcoholism finally reaching an all time worst, made for very ugly scenes.

However, I was overly sensitive and had caught on that as a kid my dad had suffered some incredible pain and no doubt severe emotional torture. He was abandoned by my grandmother at Children's Village in New York for three years and she'd write to say she was coming to get him and never showed...more than once. He sat on these very steps sixty years ago all day long waiting for her until it was clear she'd blown him off again.

So, when I was eleven and learned of the rat story, I felt guilty. Even though at that time I hated him more often than not, the love was there and so was this overwhelming sense of responsibility for his childhood pain.  It plagued me, even though it wasn't my fault. I remember lying in my bunk (we lived on a boat) wishing I could have been a better one-year old. As if somehow, if only I'D reacted better, that he wouldn't have extra pain and that our family wouldn't be falling apart that very minute.

It was awful. It made me physically sick. It seemed there was nothing I could control, but I fiercely warned my little brother that we had to react well to every gift no matter how disappointed we were (gift giving was a nightmare in my family as holidays and birthdays were the only times gifts were given and they never ever came close to anything our friends received.). Adam learned at my coaching that we had to act happy or "dad would be hurt worse".

It was an odd contrast...me screaming at my father when he was drunk that he was an alcoholic and I hated his guts and wished he'd die versus my determination to never hurt his feelings by reacting poorly to a gift and this illustrates how the family dynamic was a mess.

The good news is that, as I've written before...all of us healed...in our own ways before my father died.  My parents had divorced, (but remained friends) and my father and I really got it on the table so when he did die, there was nothing unresolved or to have regret about.

The best part was that because of a girlfriend he had late in his life, he learned the joy of giving and receiving.  She threw him his first real birthday party, with balloons, streamers and hats and a million presents. He joked about it and yet, we all knew that somehow she reached that little boy in him who had never had that kind of "star of the show" attention. And he received it...accepted her gesture to fill an empty place in his heart.  I'm crying hard about it as I write this, because I'm so grateful that he got what he needed even if he was fifty-nine. It's never too late. Interestingly enough, my grandmother was there too and they had healed the best they could. Seeing my father open his presents and a cake with his name on it touched me so much. 

Joan made it easier for my father to take gift giving risks and the Modigliani was a risk. He was taking me at my word that I really did love it (an artist he loved) and  giving me something with the hope I'd be happy.  I was and I let him know it. 

So, this morning, as I saw the flowers and the Modigliani together  I was reminded of him...I posted about his late life love of flowers here.   It made me happy and so grateful that the "mess" is ancient history.

Ok...now on to other gifts...Risa is the winner! Sox Trot socks are coming her way along with Numi Tea!

My favorite pattern!

Now all of you regular readers know that I love to give gifts! So, very small consolation prizes will be sent to anyone who left  a comment on the 200th Post post....just message me your address. Risa? Do you have a blog?

Hey, you know what? I'm feeling super "givey"...so anyone who leaves a comment on this post gets a small consolation prize too! Just leave a comment and email me your address!

I did make meet the challenge...I posted 32 posts in 30 days! 3/7-4/7!! Yay!   

Learning To Drive At Thirty-Five (OR "You put your foot on the gas to go and your foot on the brake to stop."

Kitchenettes....this is a long one....I hope you can stick with it!

People are usually stunned to find out that I've only been driving for four years.  I got my first learner's permit at twenty-two and renewed it (without practicing at all in-between) eight or nine times.

Sometimes I'd panic when I let it lapse and freak out all worried I'd be required to take the written test again...not that it was hard...in fact, my score was perfect, but I didn't want the psychological hassle. 

Once, when I went in to renew my permit, the DMV accidentally issued me a driver's license! I was honest and turned it in (only after I showed it to Mark and he convinced me that the "symbolism" wasn't as important as not driving with an illegally issued license). People always ask me if I wish I'd gotten it sooner. Nope. I've never felt any regret.

It used to amaze me how often people would learn that I didn't drive and then without even asking, make all kinds of insulting and wild assumptions:

1. It must be because my husband wanted to "keep control over me" (?) and keep me in the position of always having to ask for rides. This was insane because while he was very patient with me and did drive me when he could, he didn't like my account with a local cab company and the $400.00 a month spent on cab rides. It made our lives more difficult even though we managed.   
   
2. Overweight women who can't control their bodies also fear they can't control cars. Umm...OK? So, it's perfectly fine to assess someone as overweight and out of control?
3. Surely it was because we'd been in such a horrible car accident that I was traumatized and "just needed "hypnosis".
4. Maybe I had had a D.U.I. and wasn't allowed to drive, so I just LIED said I couldn't drive.
5. My favorite and least offensive was when a customer at my old shop privately and hopefully said she believed there was "another way" I got around. This was said in such an intrigued and admiring tone that I hated to disappoint her by confessing that, "No, I haven't learned how to astral project myself to the shop every morning."  But, it did make for a few good jokes about my magic broom!

The truth is that I don't know why, but I do believe that for many years, I was subconsciously trying to tame myself and tone myself down.  My teenage years were spent getting myself into all kinds of trouble. I took a few Greyhound bus "rides to freedom" and usually the results weren't so hot. As I've written before, my mom and I thank God there was no Internet then because I would have been one of these girls who connects with some 50 year old in Germany and thinks the whole being sent tickets to come visit thing could be a great "adventure".  I wasn't naive, I just liked pushing the envelope...hard.   

I spent my whole life (from about six years old) fantasizing about getting on planes and trains and just taking off to see what's out there.  Not because I was miserable (though sometimes I was), but because something out there might be better and "more exciting".  Yet, many of my freedom quests were poorly planned and wound up with me needing to borrow money or make quick exits out of abandoned buildings  or...worse...one of my quests to help someone else wound up with my mother scared to death after opening up my closet door (she heard a noise and yes...she actually investigated like you see in horror  movies) to see a young homeless (but very cute) guy I was hiding, crouching among my clothes...I came home from work and they were both sitting in the living room waiting for me. Yikes! 

I didn't have a good track record. What if I got my license and got into a car and just took off? I was a reckless teenager who redeemed herself (to myself mostly) through hard work and  "stable"  living...what if I got my license and wound up calling Mark from Alaska because while it had seemed like a good idea, it turned out that parking in front of the prison and offering rides to any convict who could escape was a bit of an error in judgment even if pretty adventurous?   

I can't say for sure, but I think I didn't trust myself with the freedom driving would give me. That somehow I'd end up being as reckless with the privilege as I was with my body/sexuality as a teenage girl and with my money as a young adult?  Who knows?

I only know that one day, waiting for cabs, asking for rides and not being able to be a helpful friend (picking up the kids if a friend needed me, racing out to meet someone on impulse for lunch, my in-laws having to drive my husband to the emergency room etc.) just stopped working for me.

I began, for the first time to want to drive, not feel I should want to drive.  It was about this time that Janice and I began to forge a friendship. I'd ride as a passenger in her car and see her relaxed and casual way of holding the wheel and gallivanting about town with a real coffee mug that miraculously never spilled and I was filled with admiration. Her car was always comfortably cluttered with odds and ends and strands of sparkling beads and charms hung from her rear view mirror (more on this later). I loved that she drove around seemingly oblivious to the world and yet had never ever been in an accident.  It was the opposite of what it was like driving with most people...she made it look so easy. Her driving style was "unconcerned."

We're about the same age, but I was in total little sister mode when I rode with her and went over to  her cool apartment (the upper floor of an old Victorian with a turret room and everything!). She served me tea and cookies and made me dinner.  One night I even sat on her ginormous couch and she served me spiked eggnog!  As crazy as this sounds, I felt a real adult, but I was still like a kid...listening wide-eyed at her tales of dating life (some heartbreak too) while I crunched away on meringue cookies and drank enough of her eggnog (without much effect) to have her accuse me of having a hollow leg. Of course I'd be exaggerating if I said I was like Lily Tomlin's Edith tucked back on the deep couch, my feet not touching the floor as I pressed for more details, but that was exactly how I felt. 

I had my perfect spot on her couch and her cat liked me and of course, it was easy to get caught up in her single life and perhaps a little envious of her freedom. On the other side, Janice liked listening to me talk about my marriage and hearing of how Mark and I dealt with conflict.  She was amazed at how Mark and I could openly talk through our conflicts and of how the bloom didn't go off my rose when Mark saw me at my worst and vice-versa.  It was fun learning about one another and this is odd, because one of my least favorite parts of developing new friendships is that part where in order to explain one thing...you  have to explain another...the whole life history thing...but, with Janice it was fun.

One weekend we ended up vending at a psychic fair together...we both had jewelry and she was giving readings too. A few of my other friends stopped by and Janice was quiet and busying herself by pricing her necklaces while the other women and I talked about my newfound interest in getting my license.

Everyone was supportive and as I was expressing some doubt, Janice sighed heavily and said. "Why are you making a big deal out of this? Driving isn't hard! You put your foot on the gas to go and your foot on the brake to stop!"  Then she shook her head and went back to pricing. 

At first I was stunned into silence.  My friend Kim jumped to my defense, but it wasn't necessary. My personal Swami, Janice Cusano, had broken it all down for me.   She made it simple.   You put your foot on the gas to go and your foot on the brake to stop. Wow, what a concept?  This was as big a revelation  as  "chop wood, carry water before and after enlightenment" was to the Zen movement.   

I came home and told Mark that I now knew the secret. I'll never forget Mark's expression as he listened to me lay out Janice's advice. He said it was a bit more complicated that that, but I barely heard him and called to schedule my driving test.

This is the page from my desk calendar that marks the day my appointment was scheduled. I took a few lessons from a professional driving instructor, went out with my mom to learn parking and my father in-law stepped in and became my super-hero driving coach.

My mother took me to the test site and waited with another "mom" as I went out and when I got back I had my license. I couldn't believe it!!!!

All of my friends were thrilled and Janice was on the scene right away to present me with a special bead that I turned into my driving bracelet. One of the best new driving moments was when I got to be the kind friend I'd dreamed of being when Janice was headed to Boston.  I was able to offer to pick her up and drive her to the airport early in the morning! That was my most proud moment. I was thrilled to do it because it seemed like the kind of thing adult women friends do for one another and that I had never been able to do for anyone.  I think it's fair to say that I was beaming with happiness as I watched Janice walk into the airport.

Since then, I've driven everywhere. I've driven in the Loop during rush hour many times, to Indiana to visit this friend, and to see family all over.  I haven't abused my freedom (too much) or been reckless (unless you count things like my five-year old passenger sternly reminding me from the backseat that "Yellow means slow down, not go faster Tita Laura!"). 

I think, in